How to be social and make friends

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She's also the former editor of Columbus Parent and has countless years of experience writing and researching health and social issues. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by mental health professionals. Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate
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Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. Carly Snyder
MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments. Verywell Mind / Getty Images. Remember how easy it was to make friends in elementary school? All you had to do was go up to someone and ask them to check out the cool bug you just found or join you on the swings. Not only were you less worried about being rejected
but you also weren't as picky about who you were hanging out with. And it certainly didn't hurt that you had daily opportunities to interact with other kids. Once you reach adulthood the same rules don't apply. Our lives (and personalities) are far more complicated
and while we might spend time around our "peers" they may not be the type of people we'd actually get along with. Not to mention the fear of rejection which hits a lot harder than it did when you were a kid. Cultivating friendships also takes a lot of time
something most of us a short on these days. While it might seem easier to just lament the fact that your friend group is shrinking
there are actually plenty of ways to make friends as an adult—some more obvious than others. Why Friends Matter in Adulthood. Research shows that after the age of 25
most adult friendships start to dwindle. Of course
some of this has to do with changing jobs
getting married
moving
and even having children. Forming meaningful relationships may become harder as you get older
but it's well worth the effort. Good friendships have a myriad of benefits
including: Better immune functioning Decreased risk of disease
illness
and injury Increased longevity Reduced stress Speedier recovery when sick. Have the Right Mindset to Make New Friends. When it comes to making friends as an adult
it's important to be positive and proactive. If you go into the process thinking that you are never going to make friends
you probably won't. And if you leave your social life up to chance
you probably won't see results either. Are You a Likable Person? Take the Quiz. This fast
free quiz can help give you insight into whether or not you possess traits that could make you more or less likable to potential new friends. Focus on Being Open. Don't overthink the process of making friends. Instead of worrying about being rejected
or dwelling on the fact that you might not be fun enough
channel your inner child. Be open to meeting new people and having new experiences. Don't assume that all your future friends have to be of the same gender
age
or ethnic background as you. Instead
be open and inviting
and see what happens when you expand your horizons. Make a List of Potential Friends. Almost every person has one or two people who would like to get to know better in their life. Make a list of people you might like to hang out with sometimes. Remember
making friends takes work
and someone needs to take the initiative. After you have your list
consider extending an invitation for coffee and see what happens. Put It On the Calendar. Let's face it. Everyone is busy. And despite your best intentions
if you don't schedule it
you likely won't do anything about making more friends. To prevent this
set aside time to call the person from your book club that you really connect with. Decide when you will ask that friend from the office to join you for appetizers after work. The key is to schedule these initial contacts because you will keep putting them off if you don't. Accept Invitations. Yes
you are tired
busy
and over-scheduled. But if someone invites you to do something
try to make it happen! If you have social anxiety
do your best to remember that this person invited you to get together because they like you and want to get to know you better. Of course
if you cannot afford something or are sick
definitely decline the invite. But make an effort to do something else together instead. Even if you don't know the person very well
accepting invitations is a great opportunity to open doors and expand your friendship opportunities. Try New Things. When you are looking to make friends
it's important to expand your horizons and try new things. You never know
you might just enjoy these new adventures. Plus
it will open up the possibility of making friends in new and excitingplaces. So take an art class or a rock climbing course. You might not be the only one stepping out of their comfort zone
and that in and of itself can be something to bond over. Seek Out New Friends. Part of the challenge of making new friends is knowing where to look. Too many times
people assume that there are just no potential friends out there. But the problem is not the lack of opportunities for friendships
but the inability to put forth the effort to find them. Leverage Your Social Media Accounts. The purpose of social media is to connect people. Whether they live far away or you haven't seen them since high school
your social media accounts are ripe with opportunities to make friends. Of course
you are technically already "friends" with them online
but if you see a friend post about something you are interested in
reach out and make a connection. You also can use social media to organize get-togethers. For instance
if you want to host a poker night
post something on your social media account to see who might be interested. Reach Out to Neighbors. Many people don't realize they have a potential friend living right next door or across the street. They give the courtesy wave and immediately close their door
not even trying to start a conversation. But there may be some really great friendships waiting for you right next door. So the next time you are both out
do more than just wave. Connect With Co-Workers. You spend a large portion of your life with your co-workers. And even though you are in a professional setting
you likely know a great deal about one another. Whether or not you are working in the same physical space
consider inviting one of your co-workers to do something non-work-related when it's safe to do so. For instance
suggest you attend a baseball game together or grab dinner after work. Or
if you share a passion for something like yoga or cooking
suggest you do it together. Join a Gym or Sports Team. It seems kind of clichГ© to suggest meeting people at the gym. But people do it all the time. Consider joining a gym or an adult recreational league. You can also see if your workplace
city parks department
or place of worship has a team you’re interested in (softball
soccer
kickball
bowling
tennis) and sign up. The next time you are in Zumba class
or you're walking on the treadmill
strike up a casual conversation with the person next to you. Who knows? You might have the beginnings of a great friendship in the making. Attend a Meet-Up or Networking Event. Whether you work from home or go into an office every day
meet-ups and other networking events are a great way to meet new people. Not only are these events filled with people looking to connect with other professionals
but they also are great places to meet people who share the same passions. You can learn about these types of get-togethers through apps like Meetup and Eventbrite. Join a Club. If you love to read
joining a local book club is a great way to meet potential new friends.













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