: 13, 2026 1:18 am : (!!Flirt!!^) being in a relationship with an older man
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Article about being in a relationship with an older man:
Perfect."
;Straight Men Confess How They Really Feel About Age-Gap Relationships. Their Answers Are Surprising. Earlier this summer
author and real-life Carrie Bradshaw Candace Bushnell wrote about dating over 60 for The Cut — and found (shockingly) that some men her age showed a preference for younger women.
One man she’d connected with on a dating app
identified as Buckley
told her
“I don’t see age. I’ll date women older or younger but especially younger because we have more in common.” Predictably
this quote raised the internet’s eyebrows. Buckley
63
confidently said he felt he had the most in common with women in their mid-20s. He was mainly referring to their similar priorities in relationships
i.e. the desire for no-strings sex. Advertisement. Out of that context
this statement is at the very least baffling: Why would women with two decades of life experience have the most in common with him and his six? Oliver Rossi via Getty Images. Age gap relationships are not a monolith. But there can
of course
be red flags. Sex is one thing
but long-term age-gap relationships are another. Depending on the age of both people in the couple
these relationships are often judged harshly (with some generations having more criticism of these dynamics than others)
but they’re not a monolith. Advertisement. Yes
age-gap relationships can be a source of worrying power imbalances
but many are also happy
healthy and mutually beneficial. It’s all dependent on context and willingness from both sides to compensate for any disparities. “In some cultures
age-gap relationships are common
” Akua K. Boateng
a psychotherapist and therapeutic coach said. “They are held to be an exchange of wisdom
insight and vitality. In these connections
a mutually agreed upon connection is necessary. Shared values and a desire for a unified partnership holds these relationships together.” “Am I saying they can never work? Absolutely not! We just need to look at the two people engaging in the dynamic.” - Sabrina Zohar
dating coach. Advertisement. Sabrina Zohar
a dating coach and podcaster
isn’t the biggest fan of age-gap relationships. ” Honestly? Most of the time they make me uncomfortable
especially when there’s a significant gap
” she said. “Like
a 50-year-old man has had decades to figure out manipulation tactics
career success
financial stability
while a 25-year-old is still figuring out who they are. It’s not always predatory
but the potential is definitely there.” Still
Zohar recognizes that not all these relationships are created equal. “Am I saying they can never work? Absolutely not!” she said. “We just need to look at the two people engaging in the dynamic.” Both Zohar and Boateng agree that said dynamic can indeed have some red flags: “The older partner usually controls the lifestyle
where they live
how they spend money
what social circles they move in. The younger person might feel grateful for this ‘upgrade
’ but it creates dependency
” Zohar said. “Plus there’s this mentorship dynamic that can get toxic fast when one person is always the ‘teacher’ and the other is expected to be the grateful student.” Advertisement. Westend61 via Getty Images/Westend61. Men get real about what they actually get out of their age-gap relationships. For Zohar
there are some strict prerequisites for an age-gap relationship to be healthy
starting with the age of both people when they begin dating. “Both people need to be actual adults. I’m talking mid-20s minimum
when your brain is fully developed
” she said. “The younger person needs to have their own established identity
career
friend group and relationship experience before entering the dynamic.” On the subject of brain development
BBC Science Focus points out that the oft-cited factoid that the brain finishes developing at 25 is not based in any actual hard evidence
and puts forward the counterpoint that cognitive decline sets in around middle age
which can effectively level things out. An investigation in Slate makes similar arguments
establishing that 25 may be the age when many people’s prefrontal cortex — which is responsible for certain aspects of decision-making — becomes fully developed
but that this isn’t true for everyone. Advertisement. It also reminds us that the prefrontal cortex is just one part of the brain and that other brain regions play a role in our decision-making behaviors too.
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