Dating a middle aged man

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Article about dating a middle aged man:
Here are 4 practical tips for Christians who are getting a bit older but would like to be married one day.";"4 Dating Tips for Older Single Christians Who Want to Be Married. Lately I have been getting a lot of questions from older Christian singles who want to be married. They have been asking about what dating advice there is for them and what changes should they make to their dating approach since they are getting a little bit older.

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Here are 4 Christian dating tips for older adults who would like to be married. 1. Trying Something New. My general tip would be to just try something different. Lots of times Christians hear a sermon or a teaching on dating and then assume that advice is the only way to ever date. There are certainly biblical truths that apply to dating that Christians should never violate
but “how” people date is an area where we have lots of freedom. God has not given us one dating path to follow. The way people are joined together in marriage has changed over the centuries. Marriage is where God has let us know a lot more details. So you should not be overly attached to just one dating model. You don’t have to get to know someone as friends first before dating them
you are allowed to date your best friend
you don’t always have to be in a group setting
you can be in a group setting
you can date someone you just met
you can online date
you can go on a blind date from a trusted friend – as long as you are not violating a command in Scripture and you are not sinning. Overall
if what you have been doing is not working
it’s time to try something different. Don’t just keep trying the same thing (or not trying the same thing) and expect different results. 2. Take Advantage of the Opportunities You Do Get. I think one change in advice that I would give to Christians who feel they are getting a bit older is to take advantage of the opportunities that do come across your path. If a Christian guy or girl comes along that you are interested in or attracted to
you shouldn’t just sit back and see what happens like you did when you were 20. As you know
the older you get the less options there are. Don’t miss an opportunity to get to know someone who seems to have potential. If you are a woman
this can be a bit challenging because you might believe there is nothing you can do but sit back and wait to be pursued. (Read: Should a Christian Girl Pursue a Guy?) I disagree. There are a lot of options you have
but perhaps the best piece of practical advice I have is use the power of an invite. If you want to let a guy know you are interested without coming across as desperate
just send him an invitation to do something. In person
over the phone
through text
whatever
just ask him if he would be interested in going out to dinner
a movie
or some other event you would enjoy. Invite and then let him take it from there. All in all
whether you are a Christian guy or girl who is getting older
you have to accept that the options are more limited
therefore you should not let good opportunities pass you up. You can’t use the same approach you used when you were 19 or 20. You had more time and more options then. If you are going to error on the side of coming across as too forward or too passive
the older you get the more you want to take chances socially and just see what might happen rather than just waiting around for the other person to do something. 3. Date Outside of Your Social Box. This piece of advice applies to anyone who is having trouble meeting other Christians who they would want to date. If you are not meeting anyone in your circle
one solution is to start looking outside of your social box. We all have a social box. We all come from a certain culture
from a certain neighborhood
from a certain economic environment
and from a certain family background. There’s nothing wrong with marrying someone like you
but you might be limiting some great options if you never start dating outside of your box. Visit a church with a different culture. Start looking to date someone like you’ve never dated before. For example
have you ever considered dating someone who already has kids? This is a radical idea for some
but the older you get the more unrealistic it becomes that you will find someone who has been totally single there whole life. There are a lot of beautiful Christian single moms and strong Christian single dads out there that have grown from their past life experiences and are now ready to be a great spouse. So think outside the box. What “type” of people have you always dated? Try something new. You never know what could happen. 4. Examine Your Expectations and Requirements of People You Will Date. Lastly
one huge problem that often causes prolonged singleness is perfectionism. In general
perfectionism kills productivity. When you apply this principle to Christian dating
sometimes the reason people remain single for so long is because they have too many requirements and boxes they need to check before they will ever give a guy or a girl a chance. I’m not saying you compromise on you values or violate God’s word. But perhaps you need to shorten your list of requirements. The one piece of dating advice that I always hear and which I really do not like is “Never settle.” Of course I agree in general. You should never marry someone you don’t actually love. But I think some people say “Never settle” and Christian singles hear “Never date someone who isn’t exactly what you dreamed about.” Our thoughts
dreams
and expectations as young people rarely match reality. When we get older
we can either cling to our fantasies and get bitter or depressed that our hopes are never fulfilled
or we can adjust our expectations and learn to appreciate people for who they are rather than pick them apart for who they are not. Many times people say
“There’s just no good options out there.” That might be true
or it might also be true that you just can’t see the good options because your standards are too high and you can’t see over them. There are oftentimes good options out there
but there are never perfect options out there. So I’m not saying you need to lower your standards if you are getting older and are still single. I’m just saying it’s something to think about and pray about. What qualities are you placing too much importance on? What qualities might you want in a guy or girl but are not absolute necessities? The more expectations you have the less likely you will ever meet someone just like that. Don’t just date anyone.













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