Article about what do single people do:
And while you want to tell them where to go or scream
you know you have to keep the peace so you’re not that person . Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission.
We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Policy. But seriously
it can be super-annoying when people feel like it’s their duty to push you out of the “single” box and into the “taken” box. And it can be even tougher if you really do want to meet someone
but you just haven’t connected with the right one — yet. Even though it may feel like the end is near given everything that’s going on
it’s not the end of the world just because you’re single. Now actually is a pretty good time to put things in perspective
take care of yourself and determine what you really want out of a relationship if that is what you truly desire. Licensed mental health counselor Anne Posey
LMHC
NCC
shares some advice for embracing singleness
blocking out the expectations of others and putting yourself out there more if you’re ready to meet people. Is one really the loneliest number? One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do Two can be as bad as one It’s the loneliest number since the number one No is the saddest experience you’ll ever know Yes
it’s the saddest experience you’ll ever know ‘Cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do One is the loneliest number
whoa-oh
worse than two. “One
” written and recorded by Harry Nilsson. Also recorded by Three Dog Night and many others. Boy
when you hear songs like this
it’s no wonder that sad
single person tropes exist. Sure
single people might live alone
but does that mean they’re at home weeping in corners
closets or on bathroom floors because no one is there to love them? Not at all. And Posey says that’s because they’re not alone. “Most of the time
people who say they’re comfortable alone aren’t really alone. They have friends and they have church groups. They have social groups and they have work — they have lots of relationships. They just don’t have a romantic partner. So
they’re not alone. They’re just not in a romantic relationship. And I think single people experience a lot of societal pressure. But if you’re comfortable and you’re happy
who’s to say that’s not okay?” However
with the pandemic
Posey says that it’s natural for people to feel lonely regardless of their relationship status. “It’s common for everyone to feel lonely during a pandemic. Pandemics are abnormal. Our lives during this pandemic are abnormal. So even those in the strongest relationships may feel the stress
” says Posey. “We may be with our spouse
but we may miss our friends or our social outlets
” she says. We may have increased anxiety about our health or our partner’s health. We may have disruptions in our sleep and eating patterns. We may have financial troubles. Posey says all of this can contribute to relationship issues. “I’ve seen people in committed
long-term relationships be very lonely and very unhappy. So
I don’t think being part of a couple is necessarily the only thing that makes people happy.” Is it normal to be single? Constantly being questioned about being alone could make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. It also doesn’t help when it seems like there’s a new self-help relationship book or reality show coming out every other day. Despite what you see or hear
Posey says being single is not out of the ordinary. “It is a misperception that being single is abnormal. According to Statista
45.96% of men in this country have never been married. For women
that number is 40.87%. So
being single is quite common. However
there is a great deal of stigma around being single and much of it seems to be societal.” She adds that television shows
social media and even stories we read as children could also contribute to some people’s negative association with being single. “Almost every media outlet is feeding us information on how to be more desirable to a partner through TV shows that have plotlines centered on relationships. Posts on Facebook and Instagram tend to focus on ‘perfect outings’ with ‘perfect partners.’ Quite often
the important people in our lives are very much focused on our relationship status and how it equates to our happiness
” she says. “And the fairytales we read as children have us looking for our Prince (or Princess) Charming so we can live happily ever after
” she continues. “Again
I think a lot of it is societal pressure. But
if you’re comfortable with being single and you’re happy
who’s to say that’s not OK?” What to do when asked
“Why are you still single?” Even in a pandemic
mom
grandma or your friend who loves “The Bachelor” waaaaay too much is going to hit you with this question. And when they do
keep in mind that you honestly don’t owe them an explanation. To take it one step further
Posey suggests not making excuses or apologies for why you’re still single. When you do this
she says it’s like you’re discounting yourself. “We can’t manage other people’s anxiety about what’s going on with us. Instead
when they ask why you’re single
you can smile and say
‘You know
things are fine right now for me. Let’s talk about you
’ and change the subject
'” she suggests. Posey says people are going to have anxiety about what you do or don’t do
but you don’t have to accept it
you don’t have to buy into it and you don’t have to feel guilty. “When we start making excuses for why we’re not in a relationship or why we’re single
we just perpetuate the idea that couples are good and being single isn’t. Being single or in diverse relationships is fine
but it ultimately comes down to what works for each individual.” How to be more comfortable with being single. To loosely quote an icon and reality television host’s words of wisdom
“If you can’t love yourself
how in the heck (are) you gonna love somebody else?” It’s true when you think about it. If you’re not comfortable in your own skin or content with your current situation
jumping into a relationship won’t make things better. “If we don’t love ourselves
how can we receive love from others? Developing a stronger self-esteem can help us be ready for a relationship or be more content with being single. Both are positive outcomes
” says Posey. To help put things into perspective and to figure out what you want
she suggests thinking about the reasons why you’re single and asking yourself the following questions: Are you more content as a single person? If you are content overall
are there outside pressures that make you feel inadequate? If you are not content with being single
what do you want in a relationship? Where are you looking to find this person? Are you actively pursuing a relationship or waiting for it to fall into your lap? If you’ve had unsuccessful relationships
what caused them to be that way? Is there something that you want to work on when it comes to your own qualities? She also recommends a few ways to help build your confidence and comfort with being single. Make lists of your strengths and achievements.
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