jewish rules for dating

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Article about jewish rules for dating:
Dating success and marriages that last
she believes
have a lot to do with understanding yourself and the other person. For those searching for love and relationships in the fast-moving
technologically driven world of the 21st century
there is the latest title from Aleeza Ben Shalom. After a well-publicized run in the Netflix series
“Jewish Matchmaker
” she recently released her third book about the search for happiness in a satisfying relationship.

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Her new book
“Matchmaker Matchmaker
” is a quick and easy read that follows 11 of her clients to reveal important tips and dating advice that develop from their individual experiences. There’s a quick summary at the end of each chapter for those who prefer to skip the dialogue between Ben Shalom and the person she’s chosen to highlight. In chapter one
for example
you’ll encounter the Five Five and Five Rule
which is to pursue a promising relationship with at least five dates of no more than five hours each at no more than five days apart. Don’t give up too quickly
she advises
to allow for a deeper dive into conversation and reflection. And keep your hands to yourself. Ben Shalom
who is originally from Philadelphia and who met her husband more than 20 years ago at a singles retreat in Orlando
is a firm believer in limiting physical contact when you’re getting to know someone. She is said to have held hands with her husband for the first time after a four-month courtship
when they were both saying their vows under the chuppah. She believes touching another too quickly just gets in the way of building a true relationship. “If you introduce it without taking the time to develop an emotional bond
” she says
“you can trick yourself into believing there’s a deeper connection than there is. It’s why
even after dating someone for weeks
months
or even years
a person may think they share real intimacy with their partner when
in reality
they might not know them at all.” It’s the old principle of dating behavior that has long been observed in the Orthodox world
shomer negiah
which forbids contact even when a couple has established a liking for one another. She has other hard and fast rules
which she wrote about in a column in the Wall Street Journal just before Valentine’s Day this year. On those five dates you agree to
put your phone away. You can’t look at it while you’re getting to know another person. Keep up strong eye contact
listen to the other person
ask questions
and use their name when you talk with them.













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