Can we make friends

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Article about can we make friends:
Be specific. If you briefly chat with someone who has the potential to become a friend
suggest a specific time in-person or remotely to get acquainted further. Avoid leaving it at
Let's talk again some time.

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Specifically asking for what you want increases the likelihood you'll get it. 2. Schedule contacts regularly. At the end of each visit
schedule the next one. Even better
schedule a recurring time and day. 3. Avoid keeping score. If you've initiated all the meetings
you may conclude your new acquaintance is uninterested in continuing. Yet he or she may have a procrastination problem
a fear of rejection
or feel overloaded with obligations. It's not your job to divine what they're thinking. It's their job to determine what they want. Abolish your scorecard. Initiate a connection no matter how lopsided the score. Use the slogan
if it's to be, it's up to me. 4. Refuse to take criticism personally. Criticism can't be bad. If the criticism is accurate it's a path to improve. If it's not
don't give it another thought. Moreover
criticism consists of someone's subjective opinion. It has no power to diminish you as a person. Taking it personally doesn't help and you may make yourself hurt or resentful. 5. Maintain a sense of humor. Almost everyone appreciates humor. If you're not spontaneously humorous
memorize one-liners. For example
Yogi Berra-isms often delight people: "Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical." Humor serves as a glue for relationships. 6. Love maps (adapted from John Gottman). Take an active interest in your friend's life: past
present
and future. Inquire about their career
relationships
avocations
health
passions
and outlook (philosophical
spiritual
and political). For example
ask how a planned event worked out. 7. Unconditional Other-Acceptance (UOA) . Unconditional other-acceptance forms the backbone of a fulfilling relationship. View your friends as the imperfect humans they are
never as malevolent or stupid people. Resentment
anger
and hostility poisons rewarding relationships. Strongly prefer
but never demand or expect
they treat you fairly and kindly. They may have different values
objectives
ignorances
blind spots
and irrationalities than you. This is what it means to be human. UOA doesn't imply you should be friends with people you feel incompatible with. 8. Excellent Communication skills. Learn simple ways to effectively communicate. Read my previous posts in this series: Gottman
J.M. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.













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