[Hot] Why do people make friends 2026

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Article:
Here are some pro tips I use to make friends.";"How to Make Friends As An Adult (The Easy Way) Making friends as an adult doesn’t have to be hard—if you know how to do it! Here are some pro tips I use to make friends
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I hit my social peak at five years old. Kindergarten was “da bomb
” let me tell you. I was double-booked for play dates. I frequently had three
yes
THREE birthday parties on the same weekend. During lunch
I had a system to hang out with all of my friends. I would eat my sandwich at the blue table
eat my carrots at the green table
and eat dessert at the red table (where the best swapping was). At recess
it was agony trying to decide if I should play tag
do the monkey bars
or trade stickers at the big oak in the corner of the playground—often panting while trying to do all three. When the end-of-school bell rang
I would skip along the line of waiting mothers in their parked cars and high-five all of my friends as they pulled away. Sometimes
I cried before “having” to go away on school break. And then… middle school. It went downhill from there. Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I want to teach you how to make friends as an adult. I was waiting to board a plane at an airport the other day and overheard two little boys have this incredible interaction: Hi
I like trucks. I like trucks
too. This is my dinosaur. Cool! Can I be your friend? Yes! Let’s play with dinosaurs on trucks. Watch our video below to learn how to be more sociable: I wish I could walk up to someone nice
tell them something I liked
and then ask them to be my friend. If only it were that easy! For some reason
becoming adult friends gets much trickier. Here’s why: We meet fewer new people. We no longer have new classes every semester like we did in college
an infinite number of high school clubs
or sports or summer camps to attend. Our priorities have changed. As kids
priority number one is fun. You want to play. You have recess
school vacations
after-school play dates
and camp. As adults
we work
we have family responsibilities
and we have to pay bills. Oftentimes
play
fun
and relaxation take a backseat. We’re too cool. Let’s be honest: asking someone to be your friend sounds lame. Why? Because it’s terrifying! They might say no. So
we act like we’re too busy for friends
like we’re too old for play dates
and like we don’t need anyone anyway. We’re afraid of being rejected
so we don’t put ourselves out there. We’re worried that someone might be secretly toxic
so we hold back. We’re worried about being taken advantage of
so we pull away. But here’s the thing. Friends matter. Money will come and go
and career success will fade in later years
but friends only make you richer. I believe that finding
building
and maintaining fulfilling friendships is one of the most important things we do in our lifetime. I know it’s hard. But I have a big idea. I want to give you a different approach to making friends: Friendship is the new romance. I feel incredibly blessed to have found the most amazing group of friends after many
many years of awkward searching. They love to dress up in crazy costumes
are willing to participate in my science experiments (usually) and put up with my weird antics (like asking to be blindfolded and seeing if I can recognize each of them by scent). We attempt to play soccer together: (We have won only one game so far. #winnersatheart) We have weird theme parties: (Dress Like Your Heritage) (Dress in all white and have a spontaneous picnic) (Christmas Toga Party…because why not?!) We have adventures: (My husband humored me by taking the only 2-person kayak because I was afraid to go alone) Looking back
I realized we had gone through a courtship process of sorts. (They are going to tease me mercilessly for writing this post
I am sure of it). It made me begin looking into the process of making friends. I was fortunate enough to talk to readers all around the world who have found their “best friends.” Except for the lucky few who had friends from childhood
those who had found adult friends had experiences remarkably similar to mine. They had to “date their friends” first. So
I want you to court your companions. Flirt with friends. Date your peers. I want you to think about making friends like dating but without heartbreak. It’s totally okay to make a New Year’s resolution about finding your soulmate and spending time and money on dates wooing the perfect romantic partner
but for some reason
it’s weird to say that your goal is to find a best friend. Let’s change that. In this post
I want to show you how you can search for your best friend. Whatever this means to you—build your buddy system
hone your homies
meet your mates: How to find the right kind of friends How to transition from acquaintance to confidante How to build solid friendships. Warning: I know it feels a little weird to be talking about the science of making friends—to break down friendship into steps. But unfortunately
the art of building friendships often gets lost in childhood. I think friendships are important and worth the effort. And hey
so does one of the longest studies on happiness 1 https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/ (more on that below). So
I have broken down the process into steps so we can relearn this essential skill. The Science of Making Friends as an Adult. Go through the following list of steps
just like you would court a new date. You are going to court your new friends. Friend-Matching: Scouting Your Ideal Friend. Let’s say you’re newly single and ready to mingle. What’s the first thing you do? Most people think about the kind of person they want to meet. If you’re a woman
you probably made a list. Something like this
perhaps? witty outdoorsy smart stable job family-oriented. Then
you look at the list and think about where you might find this type of person. You either join the most relevant online dating website or join a local group or class to find this “type” of person. A list like this also makes you more attuned to spot this person when you see them. If you know who you’re looking for
it becomes easier to find them. Go through the following prompts: What kind of person do you love hanging out with? What made a childhood friendship so special? What kind of person fits well with your personality? to have a partner for? Look at the list above and see if anyone you already know pops into your head. It could even be a distant relative
a friend of a friend
or a spouse of a colleague. If no one pops into your head
that’s okay. You are starting from scratch. Make a list of places
groups
clubs
classes
and social networks where you might meet the kind of person above: Friend-Flirting: Sparking Casual Connections. This is the most important step for making adult friendships. Flirting. Adults make two mistakes that get them all mucked up when it comes to making friends: They go too fast. Just like in a romantic relationship
if you go too fast in a friendship
you might end up being friends with the wrong kind of person. All of a sudden
you find out something you don’t like. They become clingy
you pull away
awkwardness all around. They never ask. This is just like having a crush on someone but never asking them out. Many adults think or hope someone might be a good friend
but they never pursue it because they are afraid of rejection
aren’t sure how
or have convinced themselves they don’t have enough time. Flirting helps with both. Flirting is how you test the waters
how you get to know someone to see if there’s chemistry
and how you stave off rejection. Whether you already have someone in mind or you are going to go to a few events and meet new people
here are three ways you can friendship flirt: Fun Tease: Friends are for fun
for play
and for relaxation. One of the easiest ways you can see friendship compatibility is to see if you are into the same things. Just like on a date
you want to float things you enjoy and see if they do
too. You can mention a concert you went to last month. Ask what they are up to this weekend. Talk about your favorite sports team. Bring up a new sport/class/book you have been wanting to dive into and see what they say.













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