(!!Flirt!!^) how to get to know more people

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Article about how to get to know more people:
Get reading.";"How to Find “The One” So you want to find “the one” eh? You’re sick and tired of all the dating apps and websites and trying to meet people in your kickball league? And how many awkward first dates can you go on to find a “normal” person?

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And what’s with all the fake personalities and flaky people who seem more interested in themselves and can’t be bothered to make a slight change in their schedule to
you know
go out with you? If this describes the majority of your romantic life
I want you to open up your mind a little and start looking at things a little differently from now on. First
consider this: everyone wants a perfect partner
but few people want to be the perfect partner. 1. I think the vast majority of problems around “finding someone” are caused by uneven expectations like this. But when you flip this on its head and you start taking a little more responsibility in this area of your life—when you start focusing on what kind of life you want to live and what kind of partner you want to be—you’ll start to see all the flakes and narcissists and liars fade into the background. You’ll start making genuine connections with people and make each other’s lives more enjoyable. For years
I probably obsessed a little too much over this part of my life. But after stumbling through one unhealthy relationship after another
I learned a very important lesson: the best way to find an amazing person is to become an amazing person. 2. So
if you’re willing to have an open mind—and take a painful look at yourself—then read on. Contents. Non-Neediness. Let’s begin with perhaps a bold statement: The root of all unattractiveness is neediness
the root of all attractiveness is non-neediness. But what exactly is neediness? Neediness occurs when you place a higher priority on what others think of you than what you think of yourself. Any time you alter your words or behavior to fit someone else’s needs rather than your own
that is needy. Any time you lie about your interests
hobbies
or background
that is needy. Any time you pursue a goal to impress others rather than fulfill yourself
that is needy. Whereas most people focus on what behavior is attractive/unattractive
what determines neediness (and therefore
attractiveness) is the why behind your behavior. You can say the coolest thing or do what everyone else does
but if you do it for the wrong reason
it will come off as needy and desperate and turn people off. “It’s not the what of your behavior that is attractive or unattractive
it’s the why of your behavior.” People can sense needy behavior right away—chances are you can tell when someone is being needy for your attention or affection—and it’s a major turn off. This is because neediness is actually a form of manipulation
and people have a keen nose for manipulative bullshit. Think about it
if you’re acting needy
you’re trying to get someone to think of you in a certain way or act a certain way towards you for your own benefit . Think about the way you feel when someone is blatantly trying to sell you something with high-pressure
salesy tricks. It just feels wrong. It’s a similar feeling when someone is acting in a certain way just to get you to like them. Now
we all get needy at times because
of course
we do care about what others think of us. That’s a fact of human nature. But the key here is that
at the end of the day
you should care more about what you think of yourself than what others think. Examples of neediness in your life. How needy/non-needy you are permeates everything in your life and is reflected in all your behavior. And I mean all of it. A needy person wants their friends to think they’re cool or funny or smart and will constantly try to impress them with their coolness or humor or smart opinions about everything. A non-needy person just enjoys spending time with their friends for the sake of spending time with them and doesn’t feel the need to perform around them.













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