how do you meet guys

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Article about how do you meet guys:
Ah yes - the riddle of the universe seems to be: How do you meet great guys? Now
of course
when I say how do you meet a great guy
I’m not really saying HOW you do it. We all know how it’s done
right?

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You go out
you find a place where there are guys and you let him approach you
you flirt
you talk
and all that cool stuff. I’m going to talk about more about the whole flirting process with you
but when I really talk about how to meet a great guy - I’m really talking about where to GO to meet guys. In the perfect scenario
you’re going to the places where there are a ton of guys
and - you hope - they’re going to walk over and talk to you . They’ll do the work of chatting you up. They’re going to initiate in some way so that you can attract the kind of guy you want. Now
the problem with this approach is
of course
that if you just go anywhere to where there are guys
you’re going to end up with the kind of guy that goes to that kind of place. And you might do this without thinking about the qualities and the characteristics of the guys that go to certain places
like singles bars
for instance. What kind of guy goes there? Well
pretty much EVERY kind of guy goes to a singles bar. Which means you’re spinning a roulette wheel and hoping to come up with a number that matches you. Unfortunately
luck will probably not favor you in this particular situation. Sure
you’ll meet a guy . but will he match your criteria for a good boyfriend ? Will he have the qualities you’re looking for? It's a complete luck of the draw . And
on the first try
it’s very doubtful you'll score a jackpot. So you want to start by assessing what it is you’re looking for in a man. I don’t mean in the usual corny
cheesy way that every dating adviser tells you
when they say: “Make a list of all the criteria for the man that you want to find. Once you’ve established that criteria
you should judge them on a scale of one to ten. What is most important to you
and least. Then - and only then - should you go and start looking for your man.” Well
let’s be realistic here. That's probably not going to happen. Very few people go through that effort. You've heard that advice before
but so few really do that exercise. Ok
I did very early on. Yes
I know I’m a bit of a freak. This is Carlos "The Freak" Cavallo here to tell you that I did
in fact
go through that exercise. And I do highly recommend it. Yes
I don’t care how cliché it is
you should be doing it. But still
I realize that most people typically keep this list of criteria for their soulmate very vague. It’s basically in the back of their head somewhere in terms that are more gut feel than concrete. Now
the problem is that if you just leave it in that vague
undefined state of: “I kind of know the kind of guy I want." "Uhm
yeah
I know who he is. Sorta." "I know what he looks like. generally." "I know what his hobbies are.” But you never really sit down to make a list. And by never really pinning it down
it allows you to modify
distort
and change your list to match whoever it is you just happen to be dating at that time. Very often
we make an emotional distortion about the person we are really looking for to make them match the person we are with. Typically
this is much more of the case with women that I’ve coached than it has been with men. So take the time
sit down
at least write down a couple of things you’re looking for in concrete terms . Now
there is a practical side to this. By writing it down and figuring out what those things are
you can now match it up to the environment where you’re likely to meet that guy. You could sit around and wait for a few good guys to come along and sweep you off your feet
hoping that knight in shining armor is going to show up like a prince. Hoping he'll whisk you into his carriage and off into the sunset. That's the subconscious hope that’s going through a lot of people’s heads. Many women still harbor this secret dream
but you can’t afford to. If you’re going to find the guy you want
you’re going to have to put in a little effort and a little bit of conscious thought about how to find him. So get that list of criteria and you'll be surprised how it helps steer destiny your way. Here’s a little exercise that’s really helpful: Go to your local bookstore . I want you to go to the magazine section. Go to the huge wall of every imaginable magazine of every imaginable interest imaginable. I want you to take that list of criteria that you’ve got and see which magazines on the shelf match up with that kind of guy. Once you’ve done that
take a look through those magazines. Make a stack of them and put them on a bench. That’s right
Barnes & Noble won’t mind. They’ve got people they’ve hired full time to go and put those back after you’ve gone through and disrupted their organization system. Take that stack of magazines and go through them and look at the advertisements in them. Look at the articles in them
especially look at the advertisements
because what the advertisements are going to tell you is where you can expect to find that kind of guy . That’s right. These magazines have done all your dating research for you! They know what these guys want
what they look for
what they read
what they eat
where they exercise
what kind of cars they buy
what kind of shows they watch
and what kind of games they play. All that stuff
they figured it out so they could advertise to them. Just pick up a few of the magazines that you imagine the guy you want reading. “Oh
he eats healthy food. Well
I better go over and hang out at the Whole Food store for a few hours some time on the weekend.” “Oh
he’s into adventure sports. Well
maybe I should go over to the rock climbing gym and take a few lessons.” You can see it’s not that difficult to figure out the demographic of a guy you want and get a good idea what is he’s into. You’re going to get a much more intelligent cross-section and understanding of the guy that you want by doing it this way. It really is a kind of ninja tactic
if you will
for meeting guys
and a lot of women
actually most women
don’t know this technique exists. Frankly
most women have never even picked up a men's magazine to figure out what interests us. You'll be amazed at the ideas that will come to you just paging through them. Not only that
but you'll be getting a keen insight into men in general. I recommend this as simply an exercise for many of my coaching clients
and I'm always fascinated by their amazement. "I had no idea
Loraine said to me. She had a stack of Men's Health and some Esquires. All this time I thought it was just dumb guy stuff
but I finally got how important a man's priorities are to him.













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