(!!Flirt!!^) how to find a good guy

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Article about how to find a good guy:
I firmly believe there are good men out there. The question is: Where are they? How can we find them?



And some might add: Why are they hiding? Bookmark for later. It’s true that love is likely to happen when we’re not paying attention or simply not thinking about it
but I would argue that it’s when we focus on the right things that a good man is more likely to come around. So without further ado
here is a four-step guide to creating an environment in which a good man may appear. Make Sure You Have the Right Mindset. Before you venture into the wild
you must be well prepared and have the right attitude. It would be pointless to find a good man but be unable to recognize him or not be ready for a healthy relationship
so spend some time laying the groundwork. Your attitude and overall disposition are the first things everyone notices about you
so dedicate some alone time to self-care and give yourself honest validation. Being overly concerned with how others perceive you can hold you back from embracing your most authentic self
and being at peace with yourself is crucial in this process. Feeling strong in your sense of self will also prevent you from getting stuck in dead-end romantic situations. Self-care in this situation is not only about oiling your hair and applying face masks but about addressing past hurts and mistakes. It can be a difficult process
but it’s definitely a rewarding one! Go into detail identifying what personal patterns may be holding you back. Think back to every breakup and consider your part in the dissolution of the relationship. It’s not about blaming the breakup on you or on him but about reflecting on how you handled it or on what exactly made things not work. This will give you valuable insight into your own attachment style and raise awareness of what may require some healing. Remember that you are looking for a flesh and bone man
not a fictitious prince
so recognize that your own shortcomings as well as his will be part of the relationship. Become the woman the man you’d like to be with would like to be with. Keep in mind that your self-confidence is more attractive than any particular title
achievement
or outfit. Once you are attuned to your worth
go out with the excitement of sharing this with others. Setting the Right Expectations. The mechanics of grocery shopping and husband shopping don’t translate one-to-one. In the book Marry Him: The Case for Mr. Good Enough
author Lori Gottlieb explains how women tend to have higher standards and expectations for men than men do for women
and this often is unfavorable for women. Gottlieb suggests that if someone has 80% of the items on your list
you are good to go – he is Mr. Good Enough. Interestingly
the research shows that men are quite pleased with a woman who meets 80% of their list
while women feel like they’re settling or aiming low if they accept only 80%. You may not have a written list
but either consciously or subconsciously
we’re all likely to have a vision of our future and have a specific kind of man chiseled into it. We just have to be careful that we don’t cling to our list so tightly that we miss out on the right relationship for us. In her book
Gottlieb recounts the story of one woman she interviewed who met a man she really liked through a dating site and ultimately completely fell in love with. The woman admitted that had she met him in real life
she wouldn't have gone on a date with him because he had three children and she was sure she didn’t want children. Somehow
she missed the part of his dating profile where the children were mentioned
and by the time the children came up in conversation
the relationship was already flourishing. Balance your list of what you want with the understanding that no one is perfect – everyone has flaws. Identify the flaws you can and cannot live with. Your list of preferred qualities is the positive side
and your deal-breakers are the negative side. The purpose of the list is to gain clarity on what we truly want. This is crucial because
in the process of finding a good man
we’ll often have to say no to some frogs. While this sounds easy
in practice
it can be quite difficult if you’re unsure of what you are looking for or how you expect to be treated.













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